Unintentional Spiritual Formation

“Spiritual formation” is a phrase that often appears in the conversation on discipleship. It speaks to the ways we cultivate our life with God. Usually, conversations about spiritual formation will revolve around the holy habits of Scripture engagement, prayer, service, etc.

But I heard a sermon recently in which the pastor pointed out some of the ways we are spiritually formed unintentionally, ways in which our spiritual life is shaped without our knowledge.

One of his points resonated with me:

We are unintentionally shaped by the storyline we inhabit.

The “storyline” of our life is the way we understand who we are and why we matter and what our life is made for. We hear that storyline in that interior voice that interprets and comments on our daily life.

We first learn about that storyline in our family of origin. But that story is expanded and deepened by our life experiences (success, failure, trauma, etc.) and our culture (history, traditions, mass media, social media, etc.).

We “inhabit” that story by absorbing and embodying the assumptions that run like operating system software in the background of our minds. These assumptions are not all toxic, but for good or for ill they deeply impact the way we see ourselves and our lives.

These are some of the assumptions that dominate our hearts and minds and create our inner dialogue:

• how our parents did or did not express affection for us
• what our parents thought about our capacities and prospects
• what we think we deserve and why we deserve it
• why we have the gifting/deficits/opportunities we have and whether we are living up to our potential
• our standing in our social group

The problem with these assumptions is that they are so deeply embedded.

We can’t easily dislodge them, and the storyline they create seems obvious and irrefutable. This is why it is so difficult for us to find our identity in Christ; our interior dialogue keeps trying to make our Christ-identity seem indistinct and irrelevant.

There are then multiple storylines vying for my attention: the true storyline (in the Son I am beloved by the Father, and I have a bright future with Him) and any number of false storylines that seem more compelling:

• If people knew the real me, no one would love me.
• My life will not be complete until… (we complete that sentence by naming some sort of idol, which will surely fail us).
• I’ll never live up to my potential…
• …or If I try just a little harder, I’ll live up to my potential.

You get the picture. And you can see how – without any conscious effort on my part – I will be spiritually formed by the voice that narrates the story of my life. My spiritual life can rise no higher than the story I am constantly telling myself about myself and about God and about what my life means before the eyes of God.

This is why we need to hear from God frequently.

And, yes, this does get us back to the holy habits, all the ways we intentionally cultivate our life with God. We cannot hope to ingest enough truth about God in one hour on Sunday morning to carry us through the week. We are forgetful creatures, and we live in a world where competing storylines are trumpeted every day everywhere, both around us and especially in our heads.

This is why we must often spend time with God in His Word and in prayer if we want to resist the powerful seduction of the false storylines that crowd into and shout into our minds.

Here’s the storyline I want to remind myself of today, the story I see in God’s Word and hear in the voice of His Spirit:
 
He really is my good, good Father. 
That’s who He is.

This is the storyline I need to rehearse every day.

I am loved by Him.
That’s who I am.

Persevere,
Paul Pyle
Pastor of Discipleship